…and I’m already curled up in a ball in the corner rocking back and forth. Don’t know what I’m talking about? I’m going to guess that you A.) Don’t have kids in school yet or B). Your kids are grown and you’ve forgotten the living hell that is the end of school
Anyway. To illustrate my point, this is what Pants took to preschool for “Letter Share Day – Z”.
No zucchini, or zebras, or zippers. Just mom’s heartburn medication. Z is for Zantac. That’s what May does to people.
April was just a hot mess. Root canals are fun. Anyone? Anyone? So is an esophageal scope. Why? Because my body is falling apart on me at 35, and that is the end of my story. Honestly, both weren’t the worst – I mean, there’s always labor/birthing a child to compare to right?
I also started working again! Because I love, love looooooooove to be so exhausted that my left eye won’t stop twitching due to ingesting so much caffeine that my brain is systematically shutting down. But seriously, I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. Pants is incredibly selfish, and went to preschool this year…leaving me with more free time and quiet than I can stand. And we are fresh out of babies in this house. So what am I supposed to do? Clean? Cook? Laundry? That’s ridiculous.
Anyway, I’ve been tentatively looking here and there, and the right opportunity came along. It’s been a solid 5 years since I’ve done anything more than freelance/used my grown up brain. It’s majority from home, with some office time, which is fan-freaking-tastic. The perfect way to get my feet wet.
I’m a writer for a social media marketing firm in SLC. I had a few days of training in their office last week (learning about their clients, project management system etc). Everyone was mega nice and accommodating. I was pretty nervous, but it all went well, and I had a lot of fun.
Why was I so nervous? I will ask you this. What comes to mind when you hear “Social Media Marketing” and “downtown SLC”?
Definitely not middle aged stay at home moms.
Have you seen the Gryzzl episode on Parks and Rec?
I’m an 100% Ben Wyatt in this scenario. Super, super confused and just trying (but failing) to blend in.
What about this episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt?
I am 100% Lillian in this scenario.
I am 100% certain no one there has children.
I am 100% certain they were all born in the 90s.
I was 100% certain that they met me, they would be like “ew, I’m never getting older”, like I did in my twenties.
But they did not.
So here I am. Doing 2 things I love – listening to tunes and writing in a QUIET SPACE WHERE NO ONE IS TOUCHING ME OR ASKING ME FOR THINGS.
I actually did say “It’s so quiet in here!” And they all looked at me like, “how else would it be?” and I thought,
You have no idea.
I did hear the phrase “hella tight” and people were debating their love for Green Day and I’m all…
Green Day is literally older than you. ALL OF YOU.
When did I get this old? I can’t even. I’m none the wiser. I’m just more tired, more wrinkled and more…well there’s just more of me. But I won’t tell them that. Enjoy your 20’s in blissful ignorance my friends.