Quit being on top of things.

Quit being on top of things.

You guys, how much do I hate candy canes? If my kids get a hold of just. one. more. I will personally lick it and stick it on the middle of your bedspread. And maybe I’ll spritz some water on it for good measure. You know – to ensure that it will stay there forever. Also, stepping on a shattered candy cane is like unto stepping on actual broken glass. Which I will sprinkle around your forever adhered bedspread candy cane. Plus. THEY ARE DISGUSTING.


This one was from Santa at our church Christmas Breakfast. He’s the worst culprit. Imma bout ready to poke his eyes out with it. (PS – that’s my dad, in the flesh!)

My mom has been here since Thanksgiving, and left this morning. AND CHRISTMAS IS 10 DAYS AWAY. Which means I am no closer to getting any Christmas crap done than I was before she arrived. We’ve spent our time shopping, and doing “stuff”, which generally means she cooks, cleans and takes care of my children while I sleep. and……sleep? Wait. We made a Christmas wreath and then hung it up. BAM.

In all seriousness. There has been a lot of Christmas-y stuff going on. Rehearsals, concerts, recitals, parties and the aforementioned church Christmas Breakfast. Which I helped put on, with many other blessed souls. I even had the girls dressed in matching jammies for their pic with Santa. And Ells flat out REFUSED to sit on his lap. This is what she chose instead.


Grumpy face and cinnamon rolls. She is wise beyond her years.

Anywho – with my parents leaving this morning, my kids were literally insanse. They are used to doting, patient, happy, crafty “Nana”. But guess what suckas? SHE IS GONE. Guess who is back, ruling with her usual concoction of impatience, exhaustion, and lack of Diet Coke? (cutting back can be a B you guys. A total and complete B). Go ahead and assume that today was quite literally “the worst day EVER!” according to my children.


It has entailed a plethora of timeouts, yelling slightly raised voices, and cleaning. Oh the cleaning. Life sucks when Nana leaves and you have to pick up after yourselves again. Savages.

Can you feel the spirit of the season? We’re just bursting with it over here.

So yeah, 10 days. 10 days to get our cards out, buy presents (I have not purchased/made a single one), and maybe put the rest of my Christmas decorations up? I think it’s safe to say Aller Christmas 2014 equals #nailingit

Every time I get another Christmas card in the mail, or a gift at my door from one of you jerks, my heart skips a beat due to sheer panic. QUIT BEING ON TOP OF THINGS. But I do love sugar. So I guess just keep em’ coming. But maybe don’t make your treats look too cute. That’s just annoying.

Be looking for our Christmas card to hit your mailbox approx. March 3rd, 2015.

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  1. 1
    K Bartlett

    Ooh. Now I feel bad for giving Ellsie a candy cane on Sunday. Oops. Just trying to get rid of the stack that I have… By forcing them upon other people’s children. I’m a good person like that.

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